June 2, 2024.
That’s the last day I posted anything on this blog. I know this, because I only recently signed into it and saw the comments that have been sitting there for more than a year. I was mortified, to say the least, since I have responded to nearly each and every comment since I started this blog 14 years ago.
So, where have I been and what have I been doing? For starters, I’ve been here, in South Florida, where I’ve been pondering two issues for way too long – and I guess now is a good time to lay it all out, and add some photos from the past year, too.
We took a walking tour of the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. This is the ghost light.
After my last blog post, South Florida, like many areas of the country, experienced one of the hottest summers on record. Yes, Florida is accustomed to hot summers, but even the locals were complaining last year. They couldn’t recall a summer as hot as 2024. If recent weather is any indication, they’ll be saying the same thing about summer 2025.
I think it was over the course of that summer, combined with the heat and humidity that dragged into the autumn, when I broke. It wasn’t all at once… just small cracks that soon spider-webbed, as when a pebble hits a windshield. At first, the crack is no big deal… but as it spreads and spreads, vision becomes impaired.
It was at that moment that I began to say aloud what I had been thinking. I no longer enjoyed gardening. The passion that I once felt for it was gone. Don’t get me wrong, I was still able to appreciate the beauty in other peoples’ gardens, but I resented my own.
Gerbera Daisy.
My garden, I thought, was like a child that refused to grow up, a responsibility that always demanded – and sometimes screamed for – my full attention. Weed me. Water me. Prune me. Not once did it ever think of my needs.
Nor did the iguanas. With each day, it seemed as if a new brood appeared in the yard – gangs of green hoodlums hiding among the branches, blending with the leaves, watching our movements for when the coast was clear, and devouring everything, even the plants they’re not known to eat.
Giant Purple Iris.
Ultimately, I found myself stomping around the garden because an infestation appeared overnight, mumbling to myself because branches I had pruned several days ago were already re-growing, stringing curse words together in the most creative ways because the lightbulb plant, already eaten by iguanas and showing signs of new growth, was targeted again by those rascally reptilian rabbits, and lamenting my age because one day of yard work meant three days of back rest.
So, I just stayed inside to avoid the white hot sun… doing the bare minimum outdoors while living behind drawn shades indoors. Joe and I imagined we were living through an endless blizzard, like the ones we endured during Long Island winters.
On more than one occasion during these days, I told Joe I was done with the garden. I told him, “I’m ready to rip it all out and replace the whole thing with sod.” I told him, “I’m ready for a single potted plant – real or plastic – on a balcony.” He said I wouldn’t be happy with that. I told him, “I think I could be.”
While visiting NY friends, Cathey & Robert, in their Victorian home, I spotted this antique typewriter. I love the clicking, clattering sound of a typewriter.
The lack of gardening passion created my second issue, a lack of blogging and writing passion. Since I wasn’t planting or planning or purchasing new items for the iguana buffet, what did I really have to write about? Posting for the sake of posting would have come across as insincere filler words — and I would hate that for me, as well as for you.
All of this has been frustrating and sad for me… very, very sad… because my garden was always therapeutic for me, a way to cope through difficult times… and as summer 2024 transitioned into autumn 2024 and the Presidential election, there wasn’t a garden big enough for me to use as an escape.
The remains of a NYC pier, spotted during a 2024 trip to NY.
I’m not looking for a political debate here, but let’s just say I was disappointed with the results of that election, just as I was in 2016. Since that day, I cycle through sadness, anxiety, fear, embarrassment, and depression.
As much as Joe and I have tried to avoid the news, bits and pieces manage to infiltrate our walls, especially here in Florida. We are in easy driving distance to both Mar-a-Lago and Alligator Alcatraz, a name I detest. Besides, there are also some news items to which we have to pay attention.
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, one that has been vilified by the Florida Governor and Republican party, and now by the Federal government, I can tell you it’s not an easy feeling to go through life as if the ground is moving, never knowing when the next executive order or Supreme Court decision, one that could upend my life – mine & Joe’s life – will happen.
We were able to travel to southern Italy in April 2025. This view reminded me of an Escher maze… and I’d love to share more about this amazing trip.
I also know I’m not alone with these feelings. I have many friends and extended family members who are feeling the same thing for various reasons. I have attended parties during which all of the guests discuss how to flee the country for safety reasons. Some of my friends rely on Medicaid to afford food, while others are married to immigrants and live with the fear that a kiss goodbye before leaving for work may be their final kiss. Still others identify in all sorts of ways, and are now suspicious of family members who say they love them, but who then vote for candidates who want to hurt them.
This new reality, I think, is the biggest issue that’s proving to be the most difficult for me. I’m disheartened and disgusted by the callousness of the cruelty coming from this administration – and the cheers coming from its supporters.
As a result, I’m plagued by questions… What was the point of being honest, of playing by the rules, of coloring in the lines, of working for and teaching understanding, acceptance, and fairness, when all of that no longer feels like the way to get ahead? What happened to all of those things I learned in kindergarten? When did being a kind human fall out of fashion? Is this who we, as Americans, truly are? Shouldn’t we, as the greatest country on Earth, be better? Do better? Shouldn’t we continue to strive to achieve the ideal of a more perfect Union?
It’s all so heartbreaking – and no amount of gardening can make these thoughts go away. I know. I’ve tried.
Inside a hidden gem: The Old Florida Book Shop in Davie, FL.
I have, though, found my silver lining: genealogy. My interest in my family history isn’t new, but in the past year I have found myself turning to the past to understand the present and to search for hope for the future. I am a descendant of revolutionaries and immigrants — and my story is an American one.
There have been many, many days during which I fell down a rabbit hole of genealogy research, often choosing it over gardening chores. I prefer, however, to think of it as getting lost in the branches of a massive tree that reach from sea to shining sea.
I wonder: Can a gardening blog be about more than gardening? Can it also be a place where I can share my genealogy experiences or to process my emotions in a changing world or to share those experiences that have made a lasting impression on me? I think it can.
A perfect double rainbow.
When I started Nitty Gritty Dirt Man, I always meant for it to be a blog for me, a digital magazine with a staff of me. Getting followers and regular readers, while icing on the blogging cake, was never my motivation. Although there may not be an actual garden (at the moment) to help me cope, could a more varied blog be a means of coping, a means to re-ignite my passion for writing – and, perhaps, gardening?
If it’s okay with you, I’d like to add more non-gardening topics to this blog. I’ll do my best to share gardening trials and tribulations, but I’d also like to share other topics that have provided insight, answered questions, and opened my world.
I’d like to hear your thoughts.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Man 
Go for it! I’m feeling much the same way about transforming my blog which started out all about gardening, too. Maybe exploring the facets of growing can include gardening and so much more.
Hi Crys… thanks for commenting and offering encouragement. When I started blogging 14 years ago, there was always so much advice to not tread on slippery slopes. I have, at times, done that — but I always did it in a way that reflected back to gardening. Within the past year — and especially during the past 6 months — my head has literally exploded with words and I have to get them down in writing. Stay safe & be well in your part of the world.
you’re still the same “Nitty gritty STUFF man” we know and love. Who isn’t affected by our disruption society?
Thank you, Beth… that’s one of the reasons I wanted to make this change. There are many times when it feels like individuals are living in a bubble, and I thought this was a way to say, “You are not alone. We are not alone.”
Oh, Lord, do I feel seen! It’s like reading a journal entry. My own garden is currently overgrown for much the same reasons, and I just told my partner I’m ready to tear it all out.
Honey, this is YOUR blog. You will always be the Nitty Gritty Dirt Man to me, whose life is much wider than just his yard. Yes, please, write about what speaks to you. There is joy in the sharing, and we are listening.
Hello Linda — and thank you for your support and kind words. I’m glad you were able to see yourself in this post… it’s important for all of us to realize we’re not alone in these crazy times… it’s just that sometimes it can feel isolating. Let’s spread some joy!
Yep…feeling the same way not only about gardening because even in Pennsylvania the heat and humidity have become way more tropical than we are used to. I work at a garden center and it’s tough to be outside now, absolutely horrendous actually. But also, about the state of our country. That, too, it absolutely horrendous and fleeing the country has been on my mind for at least the last decade, longer probably. I’m not sure how you live in Florida; not just because of the weather but the toxic environment. The advice for the non-insane part of the country has been to build community which it seems is what you are doing. I think that is great although I’m starting to think that it’s way past time for that.
Take care….
The Restless Gardener
Hello Restless… in all honesty, I’m not sure how I live in Florida. It’s been a stressful run with the current governor, but in a way I felt as if it was practice for whatever this is on a national level. On some level, it may be too late because things are disheartening on an hourly basis. I do, though, take some comfort in the cracks that are quietly appearing — and with each chance Joe and I get, we speak up… to cashiers, anyone looking for a donation to a group that’s involved in supporting this, etc. That being said, I like the idea of dropping a pebble of a post into this pond and watching the ripples move outward… We never know where they’ll reach… Thank you for your support.
Hi Karen… I’m doing well… and seeing so many supportive comments, like yours, after being out of the loop for so long, has helped ease the noise in my head. One day at time is an excellent mantra… I think I have to be more mindful of it. I also think I have to tell myself that there are many issues I cannot change, but there are things I can do — like maybe adding a fresh voice with a different spin into the mix. Thank you again!
So many of us are feeling as you do and would welcome a venue to share our concerns and coping methods be they gardening or martinis. Life is difficult and most uncertain right now. Building community is a great way to feel safer and more empowered. Thanks for jumping back into this space.
Sending much love.
Hi Michele… Thank you for your support. One of the things I’ve learned over the past year is that it often feels we are living in individual bubbles, believing we are the only ones who feel that way… coming together makes a huge difference, and I think we need huge differences right now. I’m happy to be back… it should be interesting to see where this path takes me. Now… about those martinis… I’m not knocking them, but I’m more of an Old Fashion kind of guy. LOL!
I’ve missed your voice.
Even in the old days, the earnest garden writing always offered so much more. I came to especially love the blogs that ventured into commentary. As you laid everything out for us in this post, I recognized my own dilemmas. More than that, I felt the kind of heat that isn’t debilitating, but generative: a prairie lightning strike that’s followed by billions of flowers, a candle in a window calling someone home, a sauna cleansing every pore. That’s the power of your gorgeous writing.
If you decide to keep posting here, I look forward to every rabbit hole and reverie.
Hello Cheryl… Thank you so much for your kind and beautiful words, as well as your support. It has meant so much to me that many of the comments have said the same thing: I saw myself. I know I needed that… and maybe we all need that… the chance to see ourselves and to know that we are not alone. We can get through this… together.
Oh Kevin, it’s so nice to read your blog again. It’s been such a strange time for many of us both in the garden and out. Yes, of course, a gardening blog can be about other things – it’s the perfect platform to highlight our own stories, experiences, thoughts and emotions, as you do so well. I too have resurrected and re-directed my garden blog to incorporate more spiritual and philosophical ideas. So glad you are back.
Flavia… so nice to hear from you and I look forward to diving into your resurrected blog, too. One of the things that I’ve experienced over the past year is that there are moments when I’m at a loss for words… “strange” doesn’t seem to capture it… “unprecedented” has been used far too often… and emotion words can no longer come close to capturing everything happening in my head… I think that’s why I need writing. It helps to get it all out — I was going to say on paper, but it’s more like on screen. I’m happy to be able to share these things… and thankful that people like you have been there to read them. Thank you for your support.
Thanks Kevin, the world has caused much reflection and angst for most of us – glad we’ve found a bit of a forum to express our thoughts. Keep writing, my friend. 🌸
You also.
Well Kevin all I can say is boy do I hear you. I’ve been a master gardener for many years, spent hours each day, every day, planning. digging, moving plants, replanting, starting seeds, and moving tons of soil & mulch. At some point after the worst part of the pandemic was over I saw myself getting increasing fed up with Japanese beetles, rabbits, moles, voles, deer and the weather. All those things that had always been there seemed to begin a full fledged attack on my garden and my soul. Sometime around 2022 I gave up, just couldn’t do it anymore. I decided to put my efforts into other things. Caring for animals and finding like minded people, it has really helped. Our country’s current situation is so overwhelming, it’s hard to be hopeful. I’m glad you have found other interest. Please continue to do what you feel good about doing and write what you feel you need to say. I’m not sure how I found your blog (it’s been a long time) but I love your writing and your “realness” don’t stop. Stay strong, stay hopeful😊 JES
Hi JES… Thanks for commenting and however you found me, I’m glad you did. After that post, I think I’ve spent more time in the garden in the past two days than I’ve had in months… of course, I have to get back inside before noon because of the Florida heat, but I still immersed myself in some long neglected chores — and it felt good to see something from start to finish. Good for you for finding your ways to cope and to nurture your soul… and, Lord knows, our souls need a lot of nurturing these days. Stay safe. Stay well.
I’ve been wondering what you were up to. My niece and her wife and family has moved to Oregon due the political atmosphere here in Iowa. The discomfort of nastiness is everywhere. I’m 75 and moved from deeply rural Iowa to small town living. Working with my love in our yard brings us MUCH happiness. I pray you can continue writing and rekindle your love of gardening. It is good for your soul. Blessings to you!
Hi Carol… thank you so much for reaching out. For the moment, I’m keeping Oregon and Washington in my back pocket should I feel the need to leave Florida… as we all know, though, elections can change everything and I really don’t want to be a nomad in search of a home at this stage in my life… We shall see. Small-town living is something I’ve always dreamed of — and how nice that you found a place that brings you peace. Please, extend my best wishes to you and your family, wherever they are.
Hi Kevin,
I think your recent post resonates with so many people. And, it’s your blog, my friend, write about whatever you need to or want to.😘
Hi Maria — As always, thank you. I cannot begin to tell you how nice it felt to hear from friends and strangers who were all so understanding.